Why You Should Not Find Someone Who Makes You Happy

September 17, 2018lifewithcattitude

“Happy is overrated. Grow up.”

That’s a quote from the Shameless Season 6 finale. As soon as I heard it, something clicked, and I decided to write a blog post about it.

I have been in a few serious relationships in my life, one of which I was practically engaged without a ring. They have ranged from:

  • good for two young kids
  • horrible
  • deceivingly great but not really
  • even worse than the horrible one
  • and now my current one

As someone who has been in her fair share of relationships, this is my one piece of advice: don’t settle for the one who makes you happy.

I spent four years in a relationship with a guy who made me happy. And I sacrificed everything, including my ability to fight for what I wanted, in an effort to stay happy. As a result, we could never have serious talks about what our life would be like, where we would live once we were no longer long distance, or what we were going to do. We hated getting irritated with each other. We pushed necessary talks and arguments aside and ignored them. All for the sake of maintaining happiness.

Now let me pause one second and say that that does not mean you should be stuck in a miserable relationship. There’s a big difference between staying despite being miserable and making the conscious decision to stay and love each other even when you piss each other the hell off.

I mean that you should find the one who completely rocks your world. Find the one who challenges you and makes you fight to become a better person; the one who literally will not let you settle for anything less than the best. From them OR yourself!

Find the one who, at the end of the day when you are so incredibly pissed off, you still couldn’t imagine not coming home to.

Find the one who can help you take a step back in the middle of a heated argument over a water bill and realize that you two are not fighting each other, but that you are trying to fight the problem.

Find the one who fills you with so much passion for achieving your dreams and works to help you accomplish them even if it’s so left field from their own interests.

Find the one who understands that you have your own separate battles you have to fight on top of growing together.

There absolutely is room for being happy in a relationship. But if that’s all you care about in a relationship, you’re going to find yourself waking up miserable because you’ll be doing everything you can to stay happy. Even if it means completely ignoring the steps you have to take to grow as a couple. If you find the one who makes you mad, irritates you, and sometimes you can’t even stand to look at them, but they still find a way to make you laugh and then say “stop making me laugh, I’m mad at you,” then I think you found the right one.

Never ever settle.

I don’t normally do relationship advice kinds of posts, but I felt compelled to write this one for some reason. Do you guys enjoy posts like these? Let me know in the comments if you’d want more like this. Also, feel free to give this a like and a share if you liked it, I always appreciate the support! As always, I hope everyone had a great weekend, and has a great rest of the week!

Comments (8)

  • Michelle Sillery

    September 18, 2018 at 7:48 am

    This was a great read, you also need to be with someone who is your best friend & can and will support you through the hard times in life as well as the good time.

    1. lifewithcattitude

      September 18, 2018 at 8:54 am

      Exactly! Even your best friend in the world will piss you off and make you cry, but as long as they truly have your best interests at heart, that’s WHY they’re your best friend

  • Tamara

    September 19, 2018 at 12:38 pm

    This is so relatable.. thanks for sharing! Great read. I have definitely struggled with sacrificing my needs and wants in order to settle down in a relationship.

    Tammie | Photographer & Lifestyle Blog

    1. lifewithcattitude

      September 19, 2018 at 5:28 pm

      You think it’s the right thing and that you’re “compromising” but the only thing you’re compromising is your dignity

  • Jessica from The Fit Train

    September 19, 2018 at 1:11 pm

    Interesting concept; I’m definitely a firm believer in never “settling”.

    1. lifewithcattitude

      September 19, 2018 at 5:27 pm


  • Fifamè

    September 21, 2018 at 2:27 am

    Right on spot. I also think, happiness is so overrated. We need people that challenge us to reach our best. And we should be challemging our patners as well. The phrase “Love me as I am” for me might be really wrong. Nobody should be staying just where they are. There is growth to achieve at all times. But this of course is not to be confused with someone thinking you’re not good enough and that you should be trying harder to please them. Great post!

    1. lifewithcattitude

      September 21, 2018 at 1:56 pm

      You are absolutely right!

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